In Search of the Way

by Noah Derksen

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06:59

credits

released October 19, 2016

Produced by Noah Derksen and David Tallarico, Winston Hauschild (7)
Recorded by David Tallarico in New Westminster, BC and Winston Hauschild on Bowen Island, BC (7)
Mixed by David Tallarico in New Westminster, BC
Mastered by Brock McFarlane at CPS Mastering in Vancouver, BC

Noah Derksen – acoustic guitar, vocals (all)
Nico Stephenson – cello (1-6, 8)
Kett Panther – bass guitar (1-5, 7, 8)
Karen Hefford – acoustic piano (1-3, 5, 7, 8)
Heather Gunn – trumpet (2, 3, 4)
Tegan Wahlgren – violin (3, 6, 8)
Mila Huebsch – vocals (1, 2, 4, 8)
Katie Green – vocals (5, 6)
Haley Blais – vocals (8)
Janaya Salmond – percussion (3, 4, 5, 8)
Winston Hauschild – electric guitar (7)

graphic design – Michela Sutter
photography – Farhad Ghaderi

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about

Noah Derksen Vancouver, British Columbia

Noah Derksen, born in August 1993, is a singer-songwriter originating from Winnipeg, MB, who has spent the majority of his adult life living in Vancouver, BC.

With a self-described genre of “contemplative folk”, Noah uses the acoustic guitar to convey his thoughts, experiences, and emotions in a mellifluous manner.
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Track Name: Deep Blue
I held you tight, as if it would not last
The night — with no light — it wouldn’t seem to pass
My words, empty like my promises
I cursed you

I was trying to let you know that I could never let you go
I just tried to hold you close, to feel your heart beat in my throat
Now it seems I’ve lost control, but from what I do not know
You go down, down, down, down, down
To the deep blue

I hoped that you would float up to the surface
But you sunk like a stone down through the ocean
Just like a knife cutting through my soul
I lost my grip and with it my control

I was trying to let you know that I could never let you go
I just tried to hold you close, to feel your heart beat in my throat
Now it seems I’ve lost control, but from what I do not know
You go down, down, down, down, down
You go down, down, down, down, down

Go grab yourself a cigarette
And smoke it till that ash burns red

It comes back to you — we’ve gone full circle
And yes it’s true I still yearn for you
And my hands are stained from the blood of this slaughter
And you are gone in the depths of the water

I was trying to let you know that I could never let you go
I just tried to hold you close, to feel your heart beat in my throat
Now it seems I’ve lost control, but from what I do not know
You go down, down, down, down, down
To the deep blue
To the deep blue
Track Name: With the Wind
It happened late one night, I was walking circles
I couldn’t find myself a place to hide
There was rustling in the trees and there were eyes staring back at me
I recognized the broken soul inside

Goodbye for now, goodbye forever
I will never come this way again
Because I am lost forever with the wind

I wish I was a sailor, then I would sail the oceans
I would find a place to call my own
I would separate myself from all that I have done
I’d find a place to rest my tired bones

Goodbye for now, goodbye forever
I will never come this way again
Because I am lost forever with the wind

Don’t look to me to love and to hide you
For what is it that I have to give
But now you’re begging and you’re pleading and oh my heart is bleeding
That I will never see you again

Goodbye for now, goodbye forever
I will never come this way again

But now you’re begging and you’re pleading
And oh my heart is bleeding
That I will never see you again

Because I am lost forever
Because I am lost forever
I am lost forever with the wind
With the wind, with the wind
With the wind
Track Name: In Search of the Way
Don’t you realize my darling
That everyone you know is falling through
Even you
Tell me once again your secrets
I promise that I will keep them safe this time
At the edge of my mind

When it’s cold outside
And you’ve got no place to hide
When you’re wandering
And you’re hoping that you won’t find the bitter end
Just walk in silence, don’t invite the fall

When you pray the Lord’s forgiveness
Do you ever stop to think that no one’s listening
Oh but you must
There’s Jesus in the Holy Scriptures
Read the book and get the picture
That he’s got no time for us

When it’s cold outside
And you’ve got no place to hide
When you’re wandering
And you’re hoping that you won’t find the bitter end
Just follow silence, don’t invite the fall

As you wander in search of something
Hoping that it will stem from nothing much
Is that lust?
The silence spawns in all directions
Close your eyes — it’s true perfection
The darkness encircles us

When it’s cold outside
And you’ve got no place to hide
When you’re wandering
And you’re hoping that you won’t find the bitter end
I will catch you if you choose to fall
Track Name: A Good Winter
Hey, are you listening to what I have to say
Then lay down beside me babe
I’ll kiss all the hurtings away

I’ll love you and hide you
If it’s all that I do
From the coldness of winter
To the frost from the moon
I will care for you

Hey, are you terrified with all of the unknown
When the snow starts falling, when winter is calling
And the cold that you can feel in your bones

Still I’ll love you and hide you
For all of my days
From the coldness of winter
That ages your face
When your body is withered
And your mind does decay
I’ll be your crutch, I’ll be your wisdom
I’ll be your shelter from pain
I will care for you, I will care for you
I will care
I will care for you
Track Name: The Cedar
Sometimes the summer comes in strides
The shining sun abates the need to hide
Refreshing air soothes a tired sky
It warms the earth and makes way for evening light

But I told you not to run to me
I told you that it would be hard to breathe

Sometimes the summer sun beats down
So harsh upon the living on the ground
And so the cedar dies inside
It calls aloud for help with desperate cries

Yet I told you not to run to me
I told you that you would not want to see

I told you not to run to me
I told you I would break your fragile heart
But now I’m left just standing here
All alone in a room with broken mirrors

I’m forced to reckon with myself
But there’s nothing left to wreck but love itself

I told you not to run to me
I told you to be strong with straightened knees
But still I find I long for you
Arms stretched like broken branches for you to use

Sometimes the cedar rots away
Lays bare its chest and gives its final day
What once stood tall and strong and proud
Now lays soft and broken on the ground

But still I told you not to run to me
I told you to go roam, grow tall and free
But we followed suit like the cedar roots
And now we too lay humbled; misconstrued
Track Name: Suzanne
Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by and you can spend the night beside her
And you know that she’s half crazy but that’s why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her that you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength and she lets the river answer
That you’ve always been her lover

You want to travel with her and you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you’ve touched her perfect body with your mind

Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him
He said all men will be sailors then until the sea shall free them
Oh but he himself was broken long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human, he sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

You want to travel with him and you want to travel blind
And you know that he will find you
For he’s touched your perfect body with his mind

Suzanne takes your hand now and she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers from Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey on our lady of the harbour
And she shows you wear to look among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed, there are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love and they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror

You want to travel with her and you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she’s touched your perfect body with her mind
Track Name: I Do
White church, just like you dreamed
Happiness is seeping in but I am weeping out
The crowd rises but my eyes see you and only you
As you draw near you begin to slow and how my heart beats so

There’s no need for error now
There’s no need for error now
There’s no need for error now
I do

I loved you first and I’ll love you last, until our breath does pass
You glisten white, you glisten white — oh radiance — you emit the light
Bright red roses, still uncoloured focus
Your hands are mine to hold

This will be forever now
This will be forever now
This will be forever now
I do
Track Name: An Offering
Oh Lord, here I stand
Oh Lord, with these fragile hands
Oh Lord, will the stars ever align
My soul’s escaping and I am awakened
Oh Lord, just take this offering
It’s all I have to bring, please end this suffering
Oh Lord, this is what I give to you
It is my decree to let the angels sing

Oh Lord, just go on and kill me
Oh Lord, just go on and kill me if you can
Oh Lord, well is that even up to you
Now I’m forsaken or just mistaken
Oh Lord, I forgive you
For all the wrong you do and all you have put me through
Oh Lord, it was not I that did create the sin I’m forced to make
But your will be done, and so on earth we hum

Where are you now — I’m in need of saving
Where are you now — the tomb is vacant
Oh Lord, oh Lord
Oh Lord, oh Lord

Oh Lord, my hands are shaking
Oh Lord, I fear I’m fading
Oh Lord, are you in the air I breathe
My soul’s escaping, and I have awakened